LIFE in Singapore

In May, it'll be six months since i moved here. How time flies! Its going to be half a year soon. Since i've been living in Spore i must say that there have been UPs and there have been plenty of DOWNs. Its really tough and right now i can just hear my cousin's voice ringing in my ear saying, "Welcome to Singapore" as in a sarcastic tone to almost kutuk living here.

But honestly, its been really tough being here. As expected, work has been really hard. Its just one deadline after another, one target to hit after the other, one meeting to attend after another and its just one this and one that.

And right now i just feel so burned out. In fact this morning i told my director that but yet he still wants to squeeze me. I mean if there is hope of even a promotion then of course i dont mind. But right now its just helping other people create a good name for themselves while i just fade into the background. No one appreciates the work and effort that i put in...and worst part after working so hard no commision and why? Because cannot hit target. DAMN IT! Wanna put some vulgarities in here but realised got church people reading so better keep it nice and proper.

Personal life its even worst. Feeling so empty within. Doesnt really help when there's so many couples around me who are lovey dovey. Honest to God i dont mind spending time with them but if its just one couple after the other, sometimes i dont feel like a person but more like a BIG LAMP POST maybe one of those flood light ones at the soccer stadium.

And i realised that i'm such a people person that when i'm alone i just feel like i'm going crazy. Dont get me wrong i do enjoy my "alone" time but when u got no one or nothing to come home to its just very killing! I realised last time when i was living in KL, i've always lived with 2 or 3 other people. So when one's not around there's bound to be someone else. But right now its just Esther and me and we're both damn busy ourselves. Well at least Esther has got 'someone' here to entertain her. For me! Well i blog lor......Gosh! Someone stab me in the heart please. I am totally unhappy here because i am so lonely and that is a fact.

Then later i realised that i really got no life. Live in Spore for almost 6 months and really havent gone to much places. I havent even gone to Chinatown. Imagine that! How pethatic i must be. Always at home...but yet malas to go out. But the thought of going out alone is so damn sien how leh like that!

Right now i'm just so sick of my life. There does not seem to be a future, a goal to head towards to and i feel like i'm just stuck in a rut. People around me seem to be moving on with their lives. Getting married or planning to get married.... having children or expecting to have children... i guess its the so called "Normal Life" that i yearn so much and not one like mine which is full of "Exciting" struggles, insecurities and fears.

So yea! Life in Singapore does make you wake up to certain areas in your life. Sometimes i do wonder, was it the right move to come over here?

Only time will tell.........................................................